Father Goat Tonsils

By Lard

The idea comes from the stoves you have over here. You just put the clean button on, and the stove cleans itself. I think it will be a really good idea, if there were underpants that done this for you. Just think, you’d never ever have to change your underpants. You could just set them on clean, the stains burn and crumble and fall out, while you can whistle on the way to work with confidence because you know that you’ve got oven clean underwear

-Editor’s note-
An idea came to me while reading the above idea: Ass-wiping underwear - need to get out of the bathroom fast? No need to wipe, because the underwear do it for you (A self cleaning feature would definitely need to be incorporated into these!)

By Joe

In San Francisco, people have to take plastic bags with them when they walk their dogs. They turn the bags inside out and pick up the shit with their hand touching the outside of the bag. Then they turn the bag back to what it was originally, and the shit is inside the bag. This works, but I think an even better idea would be to have a shit sleigh that is a miniature version of a woodchopper. The dog would be attached to a small wheeled wagon behind it, and the shit would go into the chopper area and get blown out into small bits. An even better idea would be if the shit was deconstructed into the basic elements of hydrogen, carbon and oxygen. Maybe the shit could be made into water, which believe it or not, the dogwalker could drink. Or, if the shit was only chopped up, the exhaust part of the shit-chopper could be attached directly to a small plant. Voila! You keep the streets clean and fertilize your plant in one fell swoop.

By Anonymous

This idea had its roots in a family discussion quite a ways back while en route to a music lesson. Most recently, however, it was discussed while visiting with Tom. The idea is a system which allows one to drive for long periods of time without stopping at a restroom. A toilet is built into the seat in such a way as to allow free flow of waste into it. Waste is either put into a storage unit or pumped into the engine, which would be specially modified to be able to burn human waste as fuel. This would take care of your refueling stop and your bathroom stop in one shot, without even having to slow down.