Have you ever seen those novelty soaps that have a rope molded into them so one can hang the soap in the shower? Well, the latest idea is called “Pope on a Rope.” It is a soap shaped like the Pope molded onto a rope.
Editor’s Note:
Thievery! This product now exists (Father Goat Tonsils posses one). The makers surely stole Father Goat Tonsils’ idea, which dates back to early 1998.
By Father Goat Tonsils
After a long and much needed rumination, Father Goat Tonsils has come up with a new idea. It occurred to me that public buses are not very efficient at accommodating those who use wheelchairs. Instead of lifting the wheelchairs in the bus, the chairs could ride alongside the bus. This would be accomplished by mounting 20 or so special brackets along the side of the bus. When the bus stopped a wheelchair rider would pull alongside and clamp on to a bracket, this would allow them to ride along like a motorcycle sidecar. An advantage of this would be that a rider could pull the release handle at any time and coast to the roadside. They would not have to wait for a scheduled stop. Also the wheelchair riders would not have to pay a fare so there would be no need for them to interact with the driver.
By Father Goat Tonsils
Father Goat Tonsils has been ruminating for a long time now and has given birth to a new idea, pre chewed food. I am sure that most people are aware of the fact that many animals eat food and regurgitate it for thier young. It has occurred to Father Goat Tonsils that some people could benifit from having pre chewed food. It may be that these people have trouble with digestion or some related problem, such as old people with no teeth, just gums. One solution could be a new product line called “easy eats”, an entire selection of foods which have been pre chewed, spat out and then canned.
A whole new industry would spring up as pre chewed foods became widely accepted. Factories would have long tables set up with chewers seated on benches chewing and spiting various delicacies onto a conveyor belt which transports the chewed food to the canning area.
Just think, the next time you meet someone new and ask them what they do for work they may respond, ” I’m a chewer”. The help wanted ads would say, “Chewers wanted. Must have strong jaws.”
By Father Goat Tonsils
The latest idea of Father Goat Tonsils is the aroma phone. The purpose of the aroma phone would be to transmit odors both good and bad over the phone lines. The sending end of this machine would consist of a gas chromatograph which would make a detailed analysis of the smell which one wanted to send. Once the analysis was made the information would be converted into digital format and be transmited over the telephone lines to the party with whom you were conversing. At the recieving end there would be a rather complicated unit which would recieve the data and mix a gas which would have an odor as close as possible to the original smell. The recieving unit would contain a few hundred cylinders of compressed gas of a wide variety. The gases would be chosen by chemical rules and mixed in a chamber. When the mixture was complete it would be analyzed for accuracy and then released into the room where the recipient was. In this way friends could smell your latest spaghetti sauce from across the country or persons which were not your friends could smell other less pleasant aromas.
Editor’s update: Father Goat Tonsils is truly a prophet! Check out these similar products that have actually come into existence:
By Father Goat Tonsils
I was thinking about statues one day and it occured to me that statuary seldom does anything. An idea for a vomiting statue has been stewing in my mind for some time. I thought that it would be cool if plumbing were installed inside of a statue of a famous person (take your pick) such that a kind of artificial vomit could spurt forth from the mouth. It might be nice to have a motion sensor like those used on outdoor lighting to activate the “vomit” pump when an individual was viewing the sculpture. Pressure levels could be adjustable such that the stream would project as far as was desired. You know to strike the viewer with vomit or not.