Father Goat Tonsils

By Joe

One blueberry could be chosen to be God. This berry would be worshipped, and a few people would make up stories about being healed in the presence of the berry. Someone could pretend to hear the berry speak to them. Someone powerful like Donald Trump could donate lots of money to this cause so that the Godberries could control part of the media. They would write stories condemning certain evil practices like eating blueberries, because the God berry had said this was wrong. As the Godberry group gained more and more power, they could enact laws punishing those who ate berries. The more power the group gained, the more books they could publish, and the more mass consciousness would accept that eating blueberries was a sin. And furthermore, everything born as anything less than a berry would be considered corrupt from the beginning. So all people would need to worship the God berry to heal themselves. They would come from miles around and visit the site of the berry’s birth. The leaders of the movement would gain more and more money as the guilty members of the church donated money to the cause of righteousness. In the end, the originator of this movement could tell everyone it was just a joke, and no one would believe him. In fact, they’d most likely kill him for being a blasphemer.