Foam
By Joe
Following recent accidents involving Dave and me, the world should put a nice cushioning foam on everything. People should have to wear foam suits, and cars should be encased in foam that is about six feet thick.
If you work in a tall building, instead of wasting time with stairs or elevators on the way out, you could just jump out the window. Driving would be a lot easier and more fun; it would be like driving bumper cars. Recreational fistfights would be an expression of joy. And, instead of wasting time getting somewhere from an airport, you could just jump out of the plane at the right time.
Plus, finally, you’d be able to recreate that Ted Kennedy Chappaquiddick incident yourself! And speaking of politicians, you could drive into them whenever you felt like it. At voting time, you could tell how much someone sucked by the amount of scuff marks on their foam.