Fart Power
By Dimbulb
I believe that the expulsion of intestinal gas into the atmosphere represents a squandering of a potentially valuable resource. As we know, people in China have been harvesting “night soil” for years and using it to fertilize their vegetables, which is one reason that raw veggies are not highly esteemed in that country. Using the same kind of logic, ie taking a noxious substance and putting it to good use, I think that a way should be found to trap flatus and that it could be used as a cheap fuel. I do not know how many farts it would take to power a 100-watt bulb but you could get experts to figure that out. I haven’t worked out the finer details of the plan but suffice to say that there would be other benefits besides the obtaining of cheap fuel. If the farts are being harvested in some high-tech manner, perhaps via a modification of one of your other guests’ self-cleaning underwear, one could no longer be inconvenienced by their smell and possibly the embarrassment of the farter would be lessened for two reasons. Number one, he would be proud of contributing to the power supply and secondly, the special underwear would probably muffle sound.Note that the medical field has played into our hands here by recommending a high-fibre diet for all citizens. I would like to apologize for the scatological nature of this suggestion and I hope that it will be taken in the proper spirit of environmental friendliness.